How Does It Feel?
by TheGrandDisciple
Summary: Allison has received news that puts her world into an even further downward spiral. Now she shares the news with the person that blew her off for another. Rated T for some language
1. The Revealing

Allison leaves her house earlier than usual in the morning for school. She's back to wearing all black. This particular morning she is dragging her feet and looking at the ground while clutching her bag close to her chest. With the news she has received she doesn't know how to handle it. The only friend she has she can't talk to about it because she wouldn't understand. Allison continues on down the road not sure what to do. She needs to talk to the only other person who will understand. So she hopes to at the school when that friend arrives.

Allison arrives at the school and looks around. She doesn't see who she's looking for. For now all she can think bout was how everyone reacted when the news came from the doctor. She keeps playing in her mind how upset everyone was. She begins to cry after remembering Friday afternoon. She tells herself that that was _**NOT**_ how she wanted to be noticed by her family.

Allison see's the person she's been waiting for, smoking a cigarette and walking across the parking lot. It's John Bender. She at first doesn't know if she can talk to him. What she's more worried about is if he'll even care. The only way she'll know is to talk to him.

She walks up to him after he flicks his cigarette butt and looks at him through her bangs. He stops dead in his tracks and tilts his head to the side while lowering his sun glasses.

"Is something the matter Ally girl?" Bender asks.

She stands silent for a minute before answering, with a tear beginning to roll down her face, "Kind of. Can I talk to you about it?"

He looks at her, sighs deeply and under his breath says, "Shit!" "Yea you can talk to me. Just follow me so we can talk in private." He answers and puts his arm around her.

"How are you and Sporto?" he asks her to make conversation.

"I don't give a shit!" She answers and pushes Benders arm off of her.

They get to the bleachers and go underneath them. For a little while they stand there in silence. Bender is able to smoke a cigarette while they stand in silence. He has enough of the silence.  
"You know what? You wanted to talk and I obliged. Now you're just wasting my damn time! Now either talk or I'm leaving!" He shouts at her.

The tears start streaming down her face as she looks up at Bender. She bites her bottom lip before answering as Bender begins to walk away.

"Do you remember that day in detention three months ago? The day we all became The Breakfast Club?" she asks with her voice cracking.

Bender turns around and walks up to her. He reaches up, grabs and holds one of the beams above him. "What about it?" He asks.

"Do you remember what we ganged up on Claire about?" She bites her lip again.

"Yea I remember. About being a virgin. We got the confession from her after you lied about who you slept with and then lied about lying about not being one." He looks confused as he answers.

"I lied about never having done it to protect you. Because I saw you two flirting all damn day." She looks away while replying.

"What does this have to do with anything Allison?" He snaps back and throws his arms to his sides.

"I thought it would help your chances for her to not know that my first and my only time was with you! Only two weeks prior to detention! Yet in return you decided you wanted to ignore me because you were ashamed to admit that you did it with me so you ignored me and took shots at me and treated me like I didn't exist while making fun of me!" She says still looking down.

"What the hell do you mean Allison?" He steps forward.

"I found out on Friday Bender." She turns around answering

"Found out what?" He shouts walking up behind her

She looks down and around. She doesn't know how to tell him. Not until he grabs her and looks her in the eye. "Found out what Allison!"  
"FOUND OUT WHAT GOD DAMN IT!" He shouts again shaking her.

"I found out on Friday that I was pregnant! Almost three months along. It was yours and now my family hates me because I didn't save myself!" She screams back with even more tears rolling down her face.

Bender lets go of her. "What do you mean was?"

"I had a miscarriage on Friday. I didn't even know I was pregnant until after they told me!" She snaps back

Bender has no response. He just stands in shock because he knows she's telling the truth. He kind of looks around but can't take his eyes off of her. He has no words for her. He is trying not to cry.

"I just thought you should know! I'd still be just as upset even if I hadn't had a miscarriage! Because all I wanted to be was with you. But you told me that I am just one you consider! So now I'd be pregnant and you wouldn't give a shit or be with me! I tried to get with you. I wanted to be with you! But you're response was that I was too much like one of your friends! Because you're too damn afraid that your friends would make fun of you for it! To you I'm just a part of the cherry collection! You ignore me, someone who got to know you so you could pursue Claire? At least she'll never now. I don't regret what we did! I just regret that I lost the baby and that I now pity you for walking away from who could have been the best thing to happen to you! Trust me you piece of shit, you needed to know all of this!" Allison screams and rants before walking away from Bender.

Bender just stands in shock and once Allison is out of view, Bender falls to his knees and begins to cry with his face in his gloved hands. Allison cries harder as she walks away clutching her bag. She puts a hand on her stomach and looks back at Bender. Wondering if she should have told him all of the truth or the most of the truth she told him.

_**So what do you all think? Leave me reviews and tell me if this should stay a one shot or would you like me to continue on with this story?**_


	2. Truth&Deep Thought

_**So despite the lack of reviews, but how the reception to this story has been amazing, you all have convinced me to continue! So, Here… We… GO!**_

Brian arrives to school and sees Allison sitting behind the wall covering the dumpsters, crying while she is holding her stomach and looking down at her hands. Looking confused he walks over to her. He makes some noise to let her know that he there. She looks at him and then looks back down. Brian comes closer and puts his hand on her shoulder. He gives her time to say the first word.

"Why does everything go wrong in my life?" She asks.

Unsure what to say he takes a moment and then asks, "Um… what… uh…what happened Allison?"

"I thought he liked me. If I had known that this is how it was going to be I never would have given him my virginity. I never would have let things end up like this!" She says aloud as if no one is there.

"Wait a minute. You… you… um… said that uh… that you never… um… actually slept with… with any… um… anyone. And… who… uh, who are you talking about?" He replies.

"I lied! Ok Nerdy?" She shouts at him before continuing, "Five months ago, I met John, we hung out every day and then he was my first kiss. He kissed me back and let me call him my boyfriend. But we have none of the same classes so I didn't get to see him here at school. Then two weeks before the detention I walked into that changed all of our lives, I wanted him to be, so he was my first. Then he ignored me and wanted nothing to do with me. I found out on Friday that I'm pregnant. Almost three months along. Since he's with Claire and still only bothers to talk to me when no one else is around I didn't want him to bother with this too since it'll just be another nuisance to him. So I told my final lie today! Fifteen minutes ago I told John that I had a miscarriage on Friday! I'll be transferring to another school in three weeks. I just won't keep in contact with him. Just you and maybe Claire will be the ones I keep in touch with." She confesses to Brian.

Brian's eyes go wide and he puts his hands over his mouth. He is shocked and speechless. He comes to when Allison looks at him and asks him if he has anything else to say. He quickly composes himself.

"Holy shit! John… John Bender?" He blurts and Allison nods before he continues, "Um… Allison… Does Andy know? And why would you do something like that to Bender. I mean… um… I know that he's… uh… you know… um… an asshole and all but not even he uh… deserves that." He says.

Allison sighs deeply, slightly annoyed before answering, "Sporto dumped me over a month ago and we haven't cared to talk since. I know it hurt him but he really doesn't need to have anything to do with this baby. Hopefully after what I told him he'll think twice before pulling petty shit on Claire like he did me just because he's ashamed or bored with her. It sucks but he'll learn his lesson and change." She says with a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Hopefully he'll learn. But he'll learn his lesson while you on the other hand will be raising this kid on your own! If you're planning to keep it... Or is you're family going to uh… help you? Do they know?" He says.

"I am keeping this baby! And I'm raising them without John! My family knows. They hate me for it but at least they notice me now. My dad said he'll help me. My mom blames him and left." He answers.

"It sucks that you're leaving though. I'd help you out! You're really cool. And a good friend. Even though you did this to John. But you have your um… reasons. You've been the truest friend to me though. So thick and thin Allison. And before you say anything, I promise that No one else will know unless you want them to." He says.

Allison tries to smile and joke while more tears roll down her cheeks, "Thank you Bri. You're a good person. You deserve someone. It's a shame you're gay or else I'd choose you."

Brian's eyes go wide as he looks around and then glares at Allison…

_**Meanwhile**_

After Allison walks away Bender stays under the bleachers and cries clear through third period. During the switch from third to fourth period he shakes his head, grits his teeth and starts to run. He runs all the way off campus and towards a park down the street. He's still so upset that he can't even smoke a cigarette. He just looks around and then starts to repeatedly kick a close by garbage can. Yelling and screaming incoherently.

"Fuck! I can't handle this! Oh God I gotta tell Claire! Oh God she's gonna dump me! But I told her about me and Ally. At least I think I did. Figures everything looks up and then I have to go and fuck it up!" He says to himself

Bender composes himself enough to smoke a cigarette. He sits down on one of the cement picnic tables and thinks hard. He debates whether or not he really needs to Claire or if Allison was right and that there's no need since there won't be a baby now. He flicks his cigarette butt and walks away. He doesn't know or care where he's going. As long as it's not the school or home.


End file.
